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Life story
November 7, 2007

Lila Grace Bower

You were born on 11-7-07 which just so happened to be your due date.  You were right on time, (which you must have gotten from daddy because everybody knows Mommy is always late.)  I wandered the house for hours that night, knowing I was having contractions, but not wanting to go to the hospital too early like I did with your big sister.  At a little after midnight I woke your father up and told him it was time to go!!  We dropped your sis off at Grandma and Grandpa's and made the 35 mile trip to the hospital, which was perfect timing because the first really strong contraction hit in the parking lot of the hospital at a little after one in the morning.  You were born at 7:58 a.m., gorgeous with black hair and dark eyes.  You sounded like a little baby rooster when you cried, we found out a day later that you had a mild and very unnoticeable form of cleft palate, something they said they would easily fix at about 12mo. old.  You had a longer hospital stay than mommy, because they had to clip the skin under your tongue (you were born a bit tongue tied) and had to have lots of encouragement to teach you to suck from a bottle by yourself.  But within thirteen days you were home and we were oh so happy to start our family of four. 

Maddie was an excellent loving big sis right from the start.  She still is, not a day goes by that she doesn't talk about you or thank God for you in her prayers.  She mentions you in every prayer at dinner and bed and says she wants to hug her Sissy "Wyda"  She has called you Wyda since she met you, she had trouble pronouncing your "L".

November 7, 2007

Born in Lafayette on November 7, 2007.


December 25, 2007

Your first Christmas came so quickly!  We bought you such pretty little clothes and snuggly warm blankets, and we celebrated the holiday with family and friends.  Maddie got a camera for Christmas and took lots of pictures of Sissy! 

January 27, 2008
We dedicated you in church this Sunday.  We had no idea that you would make it to Heaven before us.
February 1, 2008
There was a big snowstorm headed our way, we went to bed Thursday night and Friday morning daddy got up for work and went to kiss you before he left, he realized you weren't breathing, Daddy and I worked hard to do CPR until the ambulance came, Ronnie and Vanessa came over from next door and did CPR too, it took about forty minutes for the ambulance to arrive, it was that snowy.  We already knew though that you'd gone to heaven while we were sleeping.  My heart broke into a million little pieces.  I couldn't get you back no matter what we tried.  I have cried countless tears over you, baby girl.  We miss you so much.  I can't believe our family is back to three and no longer 4.  They told us you were starting to get pnuemonia, but that they decided it might be SIDS that took you.  I was shocked.  I then started to see, it was God's will.  He works in mysterious ways, but I know you are safe and nothing can ever harm you.  You're in the arms of Jesus.
February 1, 2008
Passed away on February 1, 2008.
April 14, 2008

I walked by your room again this weekend and saw that picture of you with the rainbow shining across it again.  Some call it simple science, a beveled mirror and sunshine and reflection, BUT I Call it a sign that God Makes BEAUTIFUL things and just because we don't see them all the time doesn't mean they don't exist.  Just like you, God made you and You're in HEAVEN.  You're like a rainbow, Lila, you aren't here for every single day, but God gives us little rainbows and takes them away for while, but we'll see them again later.  If you think about it, if Rainbows were in the sky every day, would we appreciate their beauty as much as we do? 

May 1, 2008
I can't help but think how odd it really is that your feet never touched the green grass of this earth and your eyes never saw a spring or summer day.  But yet, you've seen God and been to Heaven.  I can't wait til I make it there someday and get to see if you grew up in Heaven or if you're still a baby, maybe you'll come running to me and yell out my name.
May 7, 2008
May 7th, 08, you would be six months old.  It's hard for me not to sit and wonder what all you would be doing today.  You'd probably be rolling over, sitting up, and smiling more than ever.  No doubt you'd be best friends with your big sissy, Maddie.  She misses you so much Lila, I don't doubt that over time she'll miss you more than any of the rest of us.  You were so special to her, she wanted to do everything for you, and still does.  She asks me why she can't see you up in the sky, she says it must be because the clouds are in the way.  She can't understand yet why we go to the cemetary to see you and your flowers.  She will someday understand that you are with God, and that you were a borrowed gift.   You have changed so many lives in the short time you were here.  86 days just wasn't enough, I wish we'd had 86 years.
May 15, 2008
They called to say they finalized the paperwork on Lila's death today.  After all this time of me thinking it was a sids case, they decided to rule it viral pneumonia, they said not to feel guilty because there was nothing i could have done to change any of this.  I am just shaken because i worked so hard to accept the word sids, and now it's not that.  But how can they label it pneumonia when it didn't look significant?  I really never will understand that.  I believe they don't really know the real reason, that only God knows it and I won't know it until I get to Heaven, and even then I probably won't know because it won't matter anymore, because all this saddness will be behind us and I can be with my baby again.